FOR PARENTS ONLY (the most important connection)

Let’s face it. Probably the most important connection you can make on behalf of your teenager is to introduce them to God, His plan and His incredible love for their lives. Parents often try so hard to ensure that their student is successful in the social arena by launching them into school functions and activities and keeping them “occupied”. Students think that success is defined by their involvement in “activities” instead of being defined by what they stand for, or better yet, “who they are”.
Teenagers are busier today more than ever, and they thrive on a busy schedule. Many students that I interact with have very little margin in their lives and have commitments from dawn to dusk. Although these students are busy, are they necessarily connected to God? Is their time in their schedule to learn what it means to be a Christ-follower and to become better acquainted with the “ways of God”?
Here are five action steps that I feel every family needs to incorporate into their family (including my own) if we truly want to see the connection made between God and our children:

#1. EAT WITH YOUR FAMILY regularly. Make this a priority, and you’ll be thankful. Eating together for 30-45 minutes will allow your family to talk with each other, listen to each other and ultimately learn more about each other. If you don’t have time to eat together, either you or your family is way too busy.

#2. MAKE CHURCH LIFE APART OF THEIR ACTIVITIES. Get your student involved at North-Mar Church (or any church that preaches the Bible). We have an active student ministry (www.northmarchurch.com) that is ready to compliment and reinforce what you are already trying to teach your student. Make room in the spring and fall for a retreat or a mission’s trip…and get them there on Wednesday or Thursday nights. The truth is this: Students who are not actively involved in a church youth group are “less likely” to follow God.

#3. SAY THE WORDS, “I LOVE YOU” OFTEN. In your marriage and in your parenting, these three words should be flowing out of our mouths constantly. Teenagers need to hear these words from both parents (every single day). Hug your family often, and verbally tell them that you’re absolutely crazy about them. This type of language will create a security in teenagers, knowing that they have a mom and a dad who loves them. More than anything else in life, teenagers want someone to love them.

#4. MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS KNOW WHAT YOUR FAMILY VALUES ARE. Make sure you let your family know what you’re all about. Have “family convictions” and hold fast to them. Teenagers today WANT convictions and rules. Just remember this: “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion” (#3 and #4 go hand in hand). Use the Bible and the character of Jesus to determine what your values should look like.

#5. STAY IN AUTHENTIC COMMUNITY with other Christ-followers. Develop meaningful friendships with other parents and people who can provide support for you and mentoring for your children. Intentionally surround your teenager with friends (their own age) who love God. Be open with people. Don’t be afraid to admit failure to friends. Small groups are the best way to incorporate authentic community into your life.

Go love God, and passionately love your kids…this is our #1 calling!!!